“My Psalm of 23”
Follow on Facebook
Comments and Tweets
Connect With Us
Like Us On Facebook
Join the Hope Community on Facebook. Interact with members and spread hope.Like Us On Facebook
Follow Us On Twitter
We would love to connect with you! Follow us and retweet our hope quotes.Follow Us On Twitter
Become A Volunteer
Be a part of the Hope Team! Help us grow and share hope with millions.Become A Volunteer
Subscribe Via RSS
Never miss a post! Get hope direct to your inbox or rss reader. Subscribe to our feed.Subscribe Via RSS
In English (Afrikaans)
“Lord,” I prayed, “what is this Lord? Please, help me.” Like never before in my life, God seemed so distant, silent. For my previous 22 years, He had spoken peace over me in the middle of the night. At the age of 23, was I too old to be his baby girl? “Lord please,” I cried silently. After seeing three different doctors during that spring, I finally had a name for my sleepless nights, racing suicidal thoughts, and consuming fear. Bipolar…mental illness… but, I thought, isn’t that for… other people…
A few months after my diagnosis, I found myself talking to God: “Father, is this what You’ve thought of me my whole life- just damaged goods?” The relief of being able to sleep at night with the new medication was dampened by the fact that I had gained nearly 30 pounds in just a few months. The medications caused extreme weight gain, increasing the risks of diabetes and death. Not to mention that these meds cost $400.00 a month; unimaginable for a graduate student’s budget. “Lord, who is going to love me –fat and crazy?” “Oh, Lord,” I said, as tears rolled down my face night after night.
Through this time, I doubted God’s love for me. Fighting bitterness, I arrogantly demanded to know why I was sent this storm. I prayed feverishly throughout the day. I read my Bible compulsively before bed. I attended worship services twice on Sundays, women’s Bible study on Tuesday night trying to prove to God that I was worthy of His love. “Lord, please, Lord please…” I cried at night. He seemed silent.
But… During those dark, sleepless nights, when tears flowed down my eyes, staining my Bible and soaking my pillows, God’s word was slowly seeping into my heart. Though I am still being treated for bipolar disorder, the healing of my heart came from the truth of God’s word. I know now that God, through Christ whispered…, “My grace is enough for you, Kimberly. My grace is sufficient for you. For My strength and power are made perfect and show themselves most effective in weakness.” And now, I know to say, like Paul, “I will all the more gladly glory in my weaknesses and infirmities, that the strength and power of Christ may rest upon me!” 2 Corinthians 12: 9
Through my psalm of 23, I learned, God will never leave you nor forsake you. Believer, you may be going through your Psalm of 23, your Psalm of 33 of 43 or maybe you are a seasoned saint in your Psalm of 63, 73, or 103. Hold on knowing that God’s grace is sufficient. It’s enough.
“In the midst of your darkness, the Lord God is a Sun and Shield; the Lord bestows grace and favor and glory. No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” Psalm 84: 11
Hope Writer: Kimberly Hardy (Kimberly Annette)
Afrikaans (In English)
“In die middel van jou duisternis, die Here God is ‘n son en skild; die Here skenk genade en guns en heerlikheid. Geen goeie ding sal Hy weerhou van diegene wat in opregtheid wandel nie “Psalm 84: 11.
Posted by Kit Evans on Monday, September 19th, 2016 @ 8:00AM
Categories: Afrikaans, Hope Devotion, North America
Tags: Bible study, bipolar, damaged goods, doubt, God, grace, mental illness, prayer, Psalm 23